I don't think the actor threads belong on TWoP precisely because most posts are cheesecake or gossip. Since TWoP is a TV forum, not a fan forum, I think the discussion should be about TV, and that we should only have character threads, not actor threads. However, this precedent was established before I was hired, and people don't typically raise hell in these threads.
The posters enjoy these threads a lot. They have fun together, and they don't cause any trouble, so I read through them and move on. Early on, I established some guidelines for some of the more exuberant threads, because this group of posters were frequently posting crotch shots of the male actors, and I realized I'd never let a group of posters post nipple shots of a female actor. The posters may not have been happy with that ruling, but they were cool about it, which is all I ask. I almost never have to take any action in those threads. Everyone gets their fandom on, and gets along.
Yesterday, was different. Yesterday, someone posted a benign gossip item in an actor thread. A few posters swooped in, in high dudgeon, horrified! Just horrified! They were horrified that anyone would gossip about an actor's personal life, on TWoP. Remember, this item was benign. It wasn't career damaging. It was in no way prurient. It wasn't even detailed.
The swoopers were quite snotty to the person who posted the aforementioned benign gossip item -- a person who has been a member of TWoP for years -- one who never causes a bit of trouble. And the item she posted? It didn't break any of TWoP's rules. The swoopers' posts violated more than one rule, and stirred up some trouble in the this usually trouble-free thread.
I'm thankful to report they took their outrage elsewhere, and the thread continued on in peace. Then links started trickling in to me. One of the swoopers who had been horrified by this personal violation of the actor's personal life has, in the past, posted crotch shots of the actor in question. On TWoP. Another person who vented about my moderation in her blog not only writes incestuous fan fiction involving this actor's character -- she also writes RPS about the actor. Not about his character mind you -- about him. About him, and his co-star, going at it like bunnies (which from all reports, they do not -- this is fan fiction, remember). For the uninitiated, RPS = real person slash. It's a category of fan fiction, in which people write fictional erotica about real people (celebrities, often co-stars on a same show) who (usually) aren't romantically or sexually involved in real life.
And yet, this small, celebrity gossip item (lacking in any juicy details) had an RPSer clutching her pearls.
Fans can (do, and will) write any type of fic they want. That's fine. My fic attitudes are very live and let live. But I can't help but laugh at what this particular RPSer finds inappropriate.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Pencils Up?
CNBC quotes Eisner as saying the AMPTP and the WGA have struck a deal. Keep your fingers crossed. Hat tip to jacey26 in the Supernatural forums.
I ran this by one of my friends in the WGA. She said there's a tentative framework in place, but nothing has been signed and details aren't final.
There's a WGA membership meeting on Saturday, to inform the writers of the structure of the deal. If that meeting goes well, there will be a recommendation made by [whatever WGA] committees. If recommended, the deal will be put before the membership for a vote. There has been some less than optimistic talk (among writers) about the deal, but my friend says it's hard to know what's what, since the deal hasn't been presented to them, yet.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.
I ran this by one of my friends in the WGA. She said there's a tentative framework in place, but nothing has been signed and details aren't final.
There's a WGA membership meeting on Saturday, to inform the writers of the structure of the deal. If that meeting goes well, there will be a recommendation made by [whatever WGA] committees. If recommended, the deal will be put before the membership for a vote. There has been some less than optimistic talk (among writers) about the deal, but my friend says it's hard to know what's what, since the deal hasn't been presented to them, yet.
I'm still keeping my fingers crossed.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Mail Bag!
Wow. I haven't updated since the end of November. We were very busy over the holidays, and all of our children are playing the same sport right now, which means our weekends are a bit crazy. On top of that, we're (slowly) repainting our bedrooms. Both dh and I suck and it, and we work slowly, but our rates can't be beat. I kept thinking I'd get a chance to update, but whenever I've had the time, I've had nothing to say. Blame the paint fumes.
Finally, my e-mailing friend e-mailed me (did we ever come up with a name for you, e-mailing friend?) to try to boot me in the ass. He'd sent me a wonderful Christmas card, and a little memento too. Because I like him, and like to keep him busy so he stays off the streets, I'll post an excerpt of his letter, first:
I took forever to respond to him. I'm a piss poor pen pal, and yet I remain exceedingly popular. Case in point: I got an e-mail from a new friend today, one whose name I didn't even recognize. I honestly don't know when I'll find the time to respond. Hopefully the shout out here will tide her over, until we can find time for a proper exchange: She wrote:
It's the canned Regards that TWoP pastes onto the end that really makes it for me. You know, the email is all: I just want to tell you what a Nazi Bitch boob tube addict twat you are, and then ends with a cute (and slightly Brit, don't you think?): Regards...
It warms my heart to see the concern posters show for my family. I got a comment on my last entry, along the same lines. I'll quote it, in case you don't feel like opening another window:
I keep meaning to talk to the kids about this issue and I totally would, if only I could remember where I left them. Once my husband stops beating me, I'll have to ask him if he's seen them (assuming he doesn't knock me out and make me forget. Again).
*Sigh* I jes wish I didn't have so mich to remember. Yu no wot eye meeeeeen?
Finally, my e-mailing friend e-mailed me (did we ever come up with a name for you, e-mailing friend?) to try to boot me in the ass. He'd sent me a wonderful Christmas card, and a little memento too. Because I like him, and like to keep him busy so he stays off the streets, I'll post an excerpt of his letter, first:
So I wandered to your blog site, to get away from the politics talk on [redacted], and ... what? Do you need some ideas? No blog since November? Yeah, yeah, I know. Life gets in the way. Forget me, I'm just in a mood. [Personal discussion from him, redacted]
I took forever to respond to him. I'm a piss poor pen pal, and yet I remain exceedingly popular. Case in point: I got an e-mail from a new friend today, one whose name I didn't even recognize. I honestly don't know when I'll find the time to respond. Hopefully the shout out here will tide her over, until we can find time for a proper exchange: She wrote:
TWoP Barnes,
[REDACTED] has sent you this email from http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php.Ewwww, do you feel really powerful bitch? Does your hubby beat you every night and this is your way of getting control???? Being a Nazi on TWOP? Maybe if you would stop watching so much TV your kids wouldn't be wishing they had a mother. Fuck off you mindless twat.
---------------------------------------------------Please note that TWoP Forums has no control over the contents of this message.---------------------------------------------------Regards,
The TWoP Forums team.http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php
It's the canned Regards that TWoP pastes onto the end that really makes it for me. You know, the email is all: I just want to tell you what a Nazi Bitch boob tube addict twat you are, and then ends with a cute (and slightly Brit, don't you think?): Regards...
It warms my heart to see the concern posters show for my family. I got a comment on my last entry, along the same lines. I'll quote it, in case you don't feel like opening another window:
Anonymous said...
Wow, you have a lot of free time on your hands, don't you little Boston housewife stay at home idiot. Here's a thought: instead of watching so mich TV, why don't you raise your kids yu mindless privileged twit.
I keep meaning to talk to the kids about this issue and I totally would, if only I could remember where I left them. Once my husband stops beating me, I'll have to ask him if he's seen them (assuming he doesn't knock me out and make me forget. Again).
*Sigh* I jes wish I didn't have so mich to remember. Yu no wot eye meeeeeen?
Friday, November 30, 2007
FREECAP: Live Blogging as Ellen DeGeneres Does The Bachelor
LIVE BLOGGING BRAD THE CAD:
Today, I break my rule against watching The Ellen DeGeneres Show while the WGA is striking. Were the strike settled, I'd be breaking my rule against watching it, because I'm a stay-at-home-mother, and am always afraid daytime TV will eat whatever bit of my time and brain the Internet leaves behind (if any). But enough about me, let's talk about Brad on Ellen (but not in an Anne Heche way). Thanks to the people on the forums, I just learned that The Bachelor's most recent bachelor, Brad Womack, is scheduled to make an appearance on The Ellen DeGeneres Show, this morning. It's already 10 minutes into the show. Ellen is giving people a copy of Keith Urban's CD, as I'm firing up the TiVo. I hope I didn't miss Brad. I don't think I did, but I'm waiting through all the filler, or as Ellen probably thinks of it -- "the rest of the show."
SHOW WATCH: Christmas card chit chat/Kodak lady/free printers for audience:
It seems that earlier this week, Deanna (the duped or just the dumped?) made an appearance, and Ellen ended up calling Brad a 'jerk' on the air at some point, because -- I'm going to go out on a limb here and say she thought he was a jerk. Except she totally didn't. Doesn't. Won't. Wouldn't have. Shouldn't have. That's not too clear -- what is clear, is that Ellen now finds it Painful, Shameful, or Emotional in some sort of way. Ellen is Sincerely Sorry that she called Brad a 'jerk' (on camera; because Brad's a little whiner and had his people contact her people, or something. Please tell me Brad doesn't have people).
SHOW WATCH: stupid game, "Thru the Wall, Or Take a Fall," which has a lot of balls (no really) into which women with hips must fall, and is a prime example of why the WGA and AMPTP must come to an agreement.
Ellen's been up to her neck (which is screaming for a better moisturizing regimen) in controversy for a while, now. She was kicking puppies, or stealing them, or rescuing them, or something. All I know is that there was a lot of crying (and a sharp, if brief, increase in Forum Traffic Court erm...traffic). And of course Ellen has decided to continue on with her show during the WGA strike, which is so distasteful, even New York is taking offense.
With all due respect to those at TWoP who are in a higher pay grade than I, and who are living in the Big Apple, you have to admit, offending New York takes some doing. It's not something one can do off the cuff. It only comes naturally to those born to it. I'm from Boston, so I know whereof I speak. The main point though, is that again there was crying. A lot of it. Or some. I think. Regret! I know there was Regret and a Painstaking, and Sincere explanation from Ellen, because that's how she rolls. Ask her, and she'll tell you. Sincerely. Sadly, YouTube is giving me no love.
Ellen is in a committed relationship with Portia de Rossi, which although also Sincere, is neither here nor there. I'm just trying to fill up the time 'til Brad comes on, but doesn't Portia look better these days than she used to? Yay, food! If there's any crying in their love nest, may it just be tidings of toasters and joy.
SHOW WATCH: a teaser for a segment with the Utah man who returned a check for two million that was mistakenly issued to him by the State. God bless him.
Sheeesh, this is taking a long time, considering I tuned in ten minutes into the broadcast. To kill time, I Googled "ellen brad" -- primarily because I haven't had enough caffeine to spell DeGeneres without thinking about it, or to think of any actually useful search terms. Here's the first page of the results. I saw that Defamer/George Clooney hit and er...lost focus for just a moment. The idea of that George Clooney...club brings a lot of things to mind, none of them having even a little bit to do with either Ellen DeGeneres, or Brad Womack (but get down with your bad self, Ellen Barkin, WHOO!).
SHOW WATCH: Teaser for the Brad segment, and a commercial break. I'm going to refill my coffee cup.
Oh great, my mom's on the phone. It rang just as Ellen cut to a clip where she called Brad a big honkin' jerk. The clip, from earlier in the week, is there to set up Brad's segment today, because otherwise, most people would be asking, "Brad Who?" and "Womack? Is that that Australian animal that's not a kangaroo?," while the few people who actually watched The Bachelor would be asking, "Hasn't this guy's 15 minutes of fame expired, yet? Who does he think he is? Andy Firestone?" Thank goodness I hit the record button on my TiVo. I have to stop typing, so my mom doesn't say, "Oh, well, I can tell you're busy, so I'll let you go." I shudder to recall our lives before TiVo.
Hours pass...
TiVO BLOGGING BRAD THE CAD:
Ellen explains that she interviewed contestant Deanna Pappas earlier in the week. I never met a Greek American with the last name 'Pappas' whose name hadn't been shortened down to same. How much do you want to bet that Deanna's real last name is something like Papagianopoulos, and the good folks at Ellis Island were all like, "P-A-P-A what? Geeano? P-P-A-G-A. Pappas! In free America, country names you!" I'll set up a Julie Barnes PayPal account in which to collect my winnings. I've even filked a holiday jingle for it:
Christmas is coming.
The goose is starving, though,
Because Barnes has not yet been paid
By BRAVO.
Time to put some folding money
In the new mod's hat.
I may be just a lowly mod
But I ain't no doormat!
If you haven't got some Benjamins
Some U.S. Grants will do
If you haven't got some U.S. Grants
You're NBC-U!
Sorry. Well, not really, but I'm trying out that faux apology real recappers make, when they're fleshing out their recaps with personal stories. Granted, it's no Johanna; it's no Sars' cats -- but hey, it's my first time; my husband is at work, my kids are still at school, and I don't have a ROOMBA to entertain me.
Ellen explains that after Deanna was candid in describing how she felt after not getting a rose, Ellen decided she wasn't, "holding back either." Cut to the clip, and days-younger Ellen tells us that she always swears off, just to get sucked back in by The Bachelor. Somehow, it seems patently unfair to me that being a lesbian doesn't make Ellen immune to bachelors of any ilk.
So anyhow, clip-Ellen's first mention of Brad is, "This...JERK, this GUY," the audience applauds as Ellen continues, "What a JERK, right?" She insists doesn't usually say that about people but Brad was just so, 'mean'. She starts discussing Deanna and refers to her as a 'girl' and I suddenly miss my crazy old boss who hollered at us if we referred to any female who was probably old enough to menstruate as a 'girl', even though she was the worst boss I ever had, and I think her woman/girl terminology standards are cracked, and yes I'm talking about you, Meeee-gan. Ahem. Ellen opines that Brad has commitment issues or something, which hello Ellen, where have you been? Brad is successful, handsome, 34, and unattached despite claiming that he oh so wants the 'fairy tale'. Of course he has issues; he has subscriptions, love.
Cut back to today, and Ellen explains that although she apologized on yesterday's show, she needs to apologize more today in person, because she's just that Sincere, you see -- and we welcome Brad Womack to the stage, as Annie Lennox croons that she'll have no more 'I love yous' misleading her (i.e. Deanna's song, and apparently Ellen's, who seems to see herself as the wronged party. I mean after all, Brad made her call him a jerk. See what a jerk he is).
Brad's (by now, undoubtedly trade marked) sheepish grin is crawling across his face, and for the love of the Fug girls, can't the man tuck his shirt in before he appears on national (or at least nationally syndicated) TV? Pay no attention to that war in Iraq; Brad Womack is what is wrong with America. Ellen's trying to maintain that look mothers reserve for those times when their mischievous moppets dig into the plate of the brownies on the counter, without asking (even though Mom totally made the brownies for the kids, because she's Mom!). They embrace, and I decide I need more coffee, but that it had better be decaf, this time.
They sit and Ellen wastes no time in getting to her apology, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for calling you a jerk," you just know there's a 'but' coming. Even Brad (who doesn't come across as the sharpest tool in the shed) knows it, so while Ellen tries to fool us with a "Now," Brad offers the "But," to her, because he's a Southern gentleman like that.
She explains the premise of the show to Brad, and to be fair to her, there is some reason to believe The Bachelor's producers were remiss in that area, where the entire cast of season 11 is concerned. Ellen goes on to tell him how 'we' get caught up in it all, too. Now, here's where I'd mock her, except I got sucked in just by reading the recaps. There's something about this train wreck of a show. The way it sticks with me is kind of like how when my kids come in from playing in the yard, and I make them wash up for supper, but they still have dirty hands, even though I watched them wash, and then I finally realize they were playing with the pine trees again, and so the dirt is anchored to their skin thanks to pine sap, and I have to sort of pick it off with my finger nails, and then rewash their hands for them.
Actually? It's exactly like that. The Bachelor is a dirty, sticky mess, and I've yet to get over my initial, "Can you believe this?" reaction, and stop thinking about it. I'm not the only one, either. I'm just saying.
Ellen cedes the floor to Brad by way of explaining that seeing him go from winnowing down a crowd of 25 girlfriends to the two girlfriends for whom he had the strongest feelings, only then to have no feelings and say goodbye the next day made her mad. Brad says, "First of all, I wouldn't say there were no feelings. In fact, what I want people to understand is that -- I know no one is buying this -- is that it was just as difficult for me." Sigh. RIGHT OFF THE BAT. Really Brad, that might be true, and not to go all Chris on you, but man up (and stop saying telling people how hard it's been on you, even if it has been).
Brad says there are so many 'misperceptions' (sic) surrounding the end of that show that he wants to scream to the world. He gets why he's on the hot seat, but he gives us his word that he thought he was doing the right thing, particularly by Deanna, because there is something between them, but not enough for him to pursue a relationship. When Brad gives his word, why does it sound just like someone promising 110%?
See Brad, that's all reasonable, fine, and healthy, in my opinion. I mean that. My husband and I have been married more than a dozen years, and the only way to even try to do this thing called marriage is full on commitment. If you want marriage, but you're involved with a person to whom you can't commit, breaking it off as early is possible is the noblest gesture, as far as I'm concerned.
Brad should have stopped there, but as always, he continues with his explanation, and ends up making himself seem less admirable as he pats himself on the back. "In fact, I took the tough way out, in order to show these women the respect." I'm not arguing with him. I just think he'd do a better job of selling himself if he stopped trying to sell himself.
Ellen, bless her, goes right to the main point that's still driving conversation in TWoP's AFTR thread. "What we learned, the next day, is that you had flown her father in," which was significant to the audience, because Brad had stated in an earlier episode of The Bachelor, that if he were to propose to a woman, he would ask her father for her hand in marriage, first. Now granted, some of the significance at TWoP is whether this archaic custom is a kindly, yet empty gesture, made as a step in securing good in-law relations, or if it is a patriarchal, sexist remnant from the days when women were mere chattel. Above and beyond that though, since that information was disclosed during AFTR, it's been one of the main reasons a lot of people think might be behind Deanna's difficulty in letting go of the Brad dream.
Brad says, "I get that and I respect that. I can adamantly say not a single time did I ever look at the producers and say, 'Yes, please fly Deanna's father in'." So Brad, you said it with your eyes closed? On the phone? What? Don't keep us in suspense. "What I did say is that a proposal was such a big deal to me, that a phone call was not sufficient. If and when that proposal would happen, to warrant me proposing to a woman, I wanted to look her father in the eye, and ask for her hand in marriage." Ellen's face does something and I wonder if it's trying to do my, "How long do I have to listen to this bullshit," thing, but I think not. Her face seems nicer, and far more Sincere than when mine, right now. Like she doesn't even roll her eyes. How would one fake up such Sincerity?
Brad continues and his hands are talking as fast and furious as his mouth. "When it got to that day, I was informed that Deanna's father was flown out. I never one time asked for Deanna's father to be flown out." Ellen's Sincerely buying Brad's Sincere explanation, and inviting the studio and home audience to do likewise, with Sincere head nods that ought to win her a daytime Emmy.
Ellen says that is something no one knew until now, and that it makes her change a lot of her opinions. I'll mention here before I forget, that the true beauty of this segment lies in the three huge identical (in all but size) head shots of the lovely Deanna looming behind Brad and Ellen. Deanna is 25 and gorgeous. As soon as a sister, aunt, or friend sits down with her, and talks some sense into her, Deanna's going to be just fine. I promise. Ellen goes on to hang a lantern on her own over-investment in this whole big mess, and the audience laughs a guilty laugh of release.
With that settled, Ellen moves onto one of the other big puzzlers we learned on AFTR, reminding Brad and the audience, that during the last time he saw Deanna before the Final Rose Ceremony, he told her that day would be a good one. Understandably, Deanna took that as an indication that she had won the game -- er, that is, Brad's heart, and possibly his hand. Ellen asks Brad why he said that, and if he regrets it.
"I definitely regret that. That's one thing that I never should have said. And I'll admit this. I don't know why I said this. I don't know if I got caught up in the moment. If I could take anything back from that show -- anything back -- it's that one statement." He offers he might have been trying to comfort her, and I think Ellen's buying it, but he's just lost me again. He makes a decent recovery by saying he bears the full brunt of the responsibility for that, until I realize that he's just stating a fact, and not making any meaningful gesture.
Ellen latches onto Brad's use of 'One thing' and asks, somewhat incredulously (but just as Sincerely) if he'd put himself out there to be judged again like this -- if he'd go through the whole thing. Brad sighs, because really people, his heart is broken too, just ask him. Actually, you don't have to ask, because if he gets enough air time, he'll remind us of that on his own, again.
Brad says he would do it again, because he says he believes in the fairy tale romance. Brad, honey, I fell in love with my husband at first sight, so far be it from me to turn your coach back into a pumpkin, but since when do "real" fairy tale romances involve 25 women all dating the same guy, being worked over by producers, kept up all hours, drinking too much alcohol, embarrassing themselves on national TV, and waiting to win the prize of being least worst babe in the bunch?
He then goes on to prove yet again that he needs to learn to quit while he's ahead, by telling Ellen how disappointed he is that it happened to him . He then contradicts what he just said (as well as what he's currently doing) by saying, on TV, that he'll never go on TV again. In. His. LIFE. He reiterates that he has no regrets except for that one statement that he made to Deanna. Ellen stops yessing him to death long enough to express her appreciation for his appearance on her show. She apologizes for judging him, because she didn't know the full story. She wishes him well and asks him if he's dating, now.
"No, I'm not dating at all." He'd like to clear up that rumor, but he needs to interrupt whatever he was going to say, to dig his own hole a little deeper. "What people don't understand is that I'm going through a break-up as well. I truly am. And I haven't even thought about dating." He's keeping to himself, and makes light of the situation by positing that if he were to ask a woman out right now, she'd probably throw a drink in his face. After the audience laughs, Brad then makes it a point to note that he's making light of the situation, and I wonder if Marti Noxon sent him an anvil, to help him make his points.
Ellen cuts Brad off after he says he's not willing to move on. I like to think that's because she would Sincerely like to keep liking him, and he's starting to piss her off again, but maybe that's just me. As I mentioned before, I have no cats. I have no Johanna. I don't even have a big, gay Dragon. Ellen ends the segment by trying to joke about hooking Brad up with her next guest, Miss Puerto Rico, and by offering him a Rice Krispies Square. Brad ignores Ellen's pimping, but gingerly takes the Rice Krispies Square in his hands. He fondles the napkin, but he can't commit eating it, or even touching it directly, because he's Brad. But please know, honestly, it's hurting him just as bad as it's hurting Snap!™, Crackle!™, and Pop!™. Well, not all of them. Brad wrote Crackle!™ off a couple of weeks ago, because his father's a dick.
SHOW WATCH: Christmas card chit chat/Kodak lady/free printers for audience:
It seems that earlier this week, Deanna (the duped or just the dumped?) made an appearance, and Ellen ended up calling Brad a 'jerk' on the air at some point, because -- I'm going to go out on a limb here and say she thought he was a jerk. Except she totally didn't. Doesn't. Won't. Wouldn't have. Shouldn't have. That's not too clear -- what is clear, is that Ellen now finds it Painful, Shameful, or Emotional in some sort of way. Ellen is Sincerely Sorry that she called Brad a 'jerk' (on camera; because Brad's a little whiner and had his people contact her people, or something. Please tell me Brad doesn't have people).
SHOW WATCH: stupid game, "Thru the Wall, Or Take a Fall," which has a lot of balls (no really) into which women with hips must fall, and is a prime example of why the WGA and AMPTP must come to an agreement.
Ellen's been up to her neck (which is screaming for a better moisturizing regimen) in controversy for a while, now. She was kicking puppies, or stealing them, or rescuing them, or something. All I know is that there was a lot of crying (and a sharp, if brief, increase in Forum Traffic Court erm...traffic). And of course Ellen has decided to continue on with her show during the WGA strike, which is so distasteful, even New York is taking offense.
With all due respect to those at TWoP who are in a higher pay grade than I, and who are living in the Big Apple, you have to admit, offending New York takes some doing. It's not something one can do off the cuff. It only comes naturally to those born to it. I'm from Boston, so I know whereof I speak. The main point though, is that again there was crying. A lot of it. Or some. I think. Regret! I know there was Regret and a Painstaking, and Sincere explanation from Ellen, because that's how she rolls. Ask her, and she'll tell you. Sincerely. Sadly, YouTube is giving me no love.
Ellen is in a committed relationship with Portia de Rossi, which although also Sincere, is neither here nor there. I'm just trying to fill up the time 'til Brad comes on, but doesn't Portia look better these days than she used to? Yay, food! If there's any crying in their love nest, may it just be tidings of toasters and joy.
SHOW WATCH: a teaser for a segment with the Utah man who returned a check for two million that was mistakenly issued to him by the State. God bless him.
Sheeesh, this is taking a long time, considering I tuned in ten minutes into the broadcast. To kill time, I Googled "ellen brad" -- primarily because I haven't had enough caffeine to spell DeGeneres without thinking about it, or to think of any actually useful search terms. Here's the first page of the results. I saw that Defamer/George Clooney hit and er...lost focus for just a moment. The idea of that George Clooney...club brings a lot of things to mind, none of them having even a little bit to do with either Ellen DeGeneres, or Brad Womack (but get down with your bad self, Ellen Barkin, WHOO!).
SHOW WATCH: Teaser for the Brad segment, and a commercial break. I'm going to refill my coffee cup.
Oh great, my mom's on the phone. It rang just as Ellen cut to a clip where she called Brad a big honkin' jerk. The clip, from earlier in the week, is there to set up Brad's segment today, because otherwise, most people would be asking, "Brad Who?" and "Womack? Is that that Australian animal that's not a kangaroo?," while the few people who actually watched The Bachelor would be asking, "Hasn't this guy's 15 minutes of fame expired, yet? Who does he think he is? Andy Firestone?" Thank goodness I hit the record button on my TiVo. I have to stop typing, so my mom doesn't say, "Oh, well, I can tell you're busy, so I'll let you go." I shudder to recall our lives before TiVo.
Hours pass...
TiVO BLOGGING BRAD THE CAD:
Ellen explains that she interviewed contestant Deanna Pappas earlier in the week. I never met a Greek American with the last name 'Pappas' whose name hadn't been shortened down to same. How much do you want to bet that Deanna's real last name is something like Papagianopoulos, and the good folks at Ellis Island were all like, "P-A-P-A what? Geeano? P-P-A-G-A. Pappas! In free America, country names you!" I'll set up a Julie Barnes PayPal account in which to collect my winnings. I've even filked a holiday jingle for it:
Christmas is coming.
The goose is starving, though,
Because Barnes has not yet been paid
By BRAVO.
Time to put some folding money
In the new mod's hat.
I may be just a lowly mod
But I ain't no doormat!
If you haven't got some Benjamins
Some U.S. Grants will do
If you haven't got some U.S. Grants
You're NBC-U!
Sorry. Well, not really, but I'm trying out that faux apology real recappers make, when they're fleshing out their recaps with personal stories. Granted, it's no Johanna; it's no Sars' cats -- but hey, it's my first time; my husband is at work, my kids are still at school, and I don't have a ROOMBA to entertain me.
Ellen explains that after Deanna was candid in describing how she felt after not getting a rose, Ellen decided she wasn't, "holding back either." Cut to the clip, and days-younger Ellen tells us that she always swears off, just to get sucked back in by The Bachelor. Somehow, it seems patently unfair to me that being a lesbian doesn't make Ellen immune to bachelors of any ilk.
So anyhow, clip-Ellen's first mention of Brad is, "This...JERK, this GUY," the audience applauds as Ellen continues, "What a JERK, right?" She insists doesn't usually say that about people but Brad was just so, 'mean'. She starts discussing Deanna and refers to her as a 'girl' and I suddenly miss my crazy old boss who hollered at us if we referred to any female who was probably old enough to menstruate as a 'girl', even though she was the worst boss I ever had, and I think her woman/girl terminology standards are cracked, and yes I'm talking about you, Meeee-gan. Ahem. Ellen opines that Brad has commitment issues or something, which hello Ellen, where have you been? Brad is successful, handsome, 34, and unattached despite claiming that he oh so wants the 'fairy tale'. Of course he has issues; he has subscriptions, love.
Cut back to today, and Ellen explains that although she apologized on yesterday's show, she needs to apologize more today in person, because she's just that Sincere, you see -- and we welcome Brad Womack to the stage, as Annie Lennox croons that she'll have no more 'I love yous' misleading her (i.e. Deanna's song, and apparently Ellen's, who seems to see herself as the wronged party. I mean after all, Brad made her call him a jerk. See what a jerk he is).
Brad's (by now, undoubtedly trade marked) sheepish grin is crawling across his face, and for the love of the Fug girls, can't the man tuck his shirt in before he appears on national (or at least nationally syndicated) TV? Pay no attention to that war in Iraq; Brad Womack is what is wrong with America. Ellen's trying to maintain that look mothers reserve for those times when their mischievous moppets dig into the plate of the brownies on the counter, without asking (even though Mom totally made the brownies for the kids, because she's Mom!). They embrace, and I decide I need more coffee, but that it had better be decaf, this time.
They sit and Ellen wastes no time in getting to her apology, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for calling you a jerk," you just know there's a 'but' coming. Even Brad (who doesn't come across as the sharpest tool in the shed) knows it, so while Ellen tries to fool us with a "Now," Brad offers the "But," to her, because he's a Southern gentleman like that.
She explains the premise of the show to Brad, and to be fair to her, there is some reason to believe The Bachelor's producers were remiss in that area, where the entire cast of season 11 is concerned. Ellen goes on to tell him how 'we' get caught up in it all, too. Now, here's where I'd mock her, except I got sucked in just by reading the recaps. There's something about this train wreck of a show. The way it sticks with me is kind of like how when my kids come in from playing in the yard, and I make them wash up for supper, but they still have dirty hands, even though I watched them wash, and then I finally realize they were playing with the pine trees again, and so the dirt is anchored to their skin thanks to pine sap, and I have to sort of pick it off with my finger nails, and then rewash their hands for them.
Actually? It's exactly like that. The Bachelor is a dirty, sticky mess, and I've yet to get over my initial, "Can you believe this?" reaction, and stop thinking about it. I'm not the only one, either. I'm just saying.
Ellen cedes the floor to Brad by way of explaining that seeing him go from winnowing down a crowd of 25 girlfriends to the two girlfriends for whom he had the strongest feelings, only then to have no feelings and say goodbye the next day made her mad. Brad says, "First of all, I wouldn't say there were no feelings. In fact, what I want people to understand is that -- I know no one is buying this -- is that it was just as difficult for me." Sigh. RIGHT OFF THE BAT. Really Brad, that might be true, and not to go all Chris on you, but man up (and stop saying telling people how hard it's been on you, even if it has been).
Brad says there are so many 'misperceptions' (sic) surrounding the end of that show that he wants to scream to the world. He gets why he's on the hot seat, but he gives us his word that he thought he was doing the right thing, particularly by Deanna, because there is something between them, but not enough for him to pursue a relationship. When Brad gives his word, why does it sound just like someone promising 110%?
See Brad, that's all reasonable, fine, and healthy, in my opinion. I mean that. My husband and I have been married more than a dozen years, and the only way to even try to do this thing called marriage is full on commitment. If you want marriage, but you're involved with a person to whom you can't commit, breaking it off as early is possible is the noblest gesture, as far as I'm concerned.
Brad should have stopped there, but as always, he continues with his explanation, and ends up making himself seem less admirable as he pats himself on the back. "In fact, I took the tough way out, in order to show these women the respect." I'm not arguing with him. I just think he'd do a better job of selling himself if he stopped trying to sell himself.
Ellen, bless her, goes right to the main point that's still driving conversation in TWoP's AFTR thread. "What we learned, the next day, is that you had flown her father in," which was significant to the audience, because Brad had stated in an earlier episode of The Bachelor, that if he were to propose to a woman, he would ask her father for her hand in marriage, first. Now granted, some of the significance at TWoP is whether this archaic custom is a kindly, yet empty gesture, made as a step in securing good in-law relations, or if it is a patriarchal, sexist remnant from the days when women were mere chattel. Above and beyond that though, since that information was disclosed during AFTR, it's been one of the main reasons a lot of people think might be behind Deanna's difficulty in letting go of the Brad dream.
Brad says, "I get that and I respect that. I can adamantly say not a single time did I ever look at the producers and say, 'Yes, please fly Deanna's father in'." So Brad, you said it with your eyes closed? On the phone? What? Don't keep us in suspense. "What I did say is that a proposal was such a big deal to me, that a phone call was not sufficient. If and when that proposal would happen, to warrant me proposing to a woman, I wanted to look her father in the eye, and ask for her hand in marriage." Ellen's face does something and I wonder if it's trying to do my, "How long do I have to listen to this bullshit," thing, but I think not. Her face seems nicer, and far more Sincere than when mine, right now. Like she doesn't even roll her eyes. How would one fake up such Sincerity?
Brad continues and his hands are talking as fast and furious as his mouth. "When it got to that day, I was informed that Deanna's father was flown out. I never one time asked for Deanna's father to be flown out." Ellen's Sincerely buying Brad's Sincere explanation, and inviting the studio and home audience to do likewise, with Sincere head nods that ought to win her a daytime Emmy.
Ellen says that is something no one knew until now, and that it makes her change a lot of her opinions. I'll mention here before I forget, that the true beauty of this segment lies in the three huge identical (in all but size) head shots of the lovely Deanna looming behind Brad and Ellen. Deanna is 25 and gorgeous. As soon as a sister, aunt, or friend sits down with her, and talks some sense into her, Deanna's going to be just fine. I promise. Ellen goes on to hang a lantern on her own over-investment in this whole big mess, and the audience laughs a guilty laugh of release.
With that settled, Ellen moves onto one of the other big puzzlers we learned on AFTR, reminding Brad and the audience, that during the last time he saw Deanna before the Final Rose Ceremony, he told her that day would be a good one. Understandably, Deanna took that as an indication that she had won the game -- er, that is, Brad's heart, and possibly his hand. Ellen asks Brad why he said that, and if he regrets it.
"I definitely regret that. That's one thing that I never should have said. And I'll admit this. I don't know why I said this. I don't know if I got caught up in the moment. If I could take anything back from that show -- anything back -- it's that one statement." He offers he might have been trying to comfort her, and I think Ellen's buying it, but he's just lost me again. He makes a decent recovery by saying he bears the full brunt of the responsibility for that, until I realize that he's just stating a fact, and not making any meaningful gesture.
Ellen latches onto Brad's use of 'One thing' and asks, somewhat incredulously (but just as Sincerely) if he'd put himself out there to be judged again like this -- if he'd go through the whole thing. Brad sighs, because really people, his heart is broken too, just ask him. Actually, you don't have to ask, because if he gets enough air time, he'll remind us of that on his own, again.
Brad says he would do it again, because he says he believes in the fairy tale romance. Brad, honey, I fell in love with my husband at first sight, so far be it from me to turn your coach back into a pumpkin, but since when do "real" fairy tale romances involve 25 women all dating the same guy, being worked over by producers, kept up all hours, drinking too much alcohol, embarrassing themselves on national TV, and waiting to win the prize of being least worst babe in the bunch?
He then goes on to prove yet again that he needs to learn to quit while he's ahead, by telling Ellen how disappointed he is that it happened to him . He then contradicts what he just said (as well as what he's currently doing) by saying, on TV, that he'll never go on TV again. In. His. LIFE. He reiterates that he has no regrets except for that one statement that he made to Deanna. Ellen stops yessing him to death long enough to express her appreciation for his appearance on her show. She apologizes for judging him, because she didn't know the full story. She wishes him well and asks him if he's dating, now.
"No, I'm not dating at all." He'd like to clear up that rumor, but he needs to interrupt whatever he was going to say, to dig his own hole a little deeper. "What people don't understand is that I'm going through a break-up as well. I truly am. And I haven't even thought about dating." He's keeping to himself, and makes light of the situation by positing that if he were to ask a woman out right now, she'd probably throw a drink in his face. After the audience laughs, Brad then makes it a point to note that he's making light of the situation, and I wonder if Marti Noxon sent him an anvil, to help him make his points.
Ellen cuts Brad off after he says he's not willing to move on. I like to think that's because she would Sincerely like to keep liking him, and he's starting to piss her off again, but maybe that's just me. As I mentioned before, I have no cats. I have no Johanna. I don't even have a big, gay Dragon. Ellen ends the segment by trying to joke about hooking Brad up with her next guest, Miss Puerto Rico, and by offering him a Rice Krispies Square. Brad ignores Ellen's pimping, but gingerly takes the Rice Krispies Square in his hands. He fondles the napkin, but he can't commit eating it, or even touching it directly, because he's Brad. But please know, honestly, it's hurting him just as bad as it's hurting Snap!™, Crackle!™, and Pop!™. Well, not all of them. Brad wrote Crackle!™ off a couple of weeks ago, because his father's a dick.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
The Bachelor: 11-9: "The Final Two Women Meet Brad's Family" 2007.11.19
WARNING: This post contains spoilers for The Bachelor, episode 11-9: "The Final Two Women Meet Brad's Family," originally broadcast on Monday, November 19, 2007, in the U.S.
I don't watch The Bachelor. I tried, but it just wasn't happening, for a number of reasons. Monday night is so full of TV that my husband and I love, and The Bachelor just isn't my beautiful cake. It has a small bit of potential to be a guilty pleasure, but Mr. Barnes -- well I--I just can't do it to him. I made him watch Fat March over the summer, for heaven's sake. I may kill him softly with my song, but I'm not going to watch my man die a little inside, just so I can watch a show that -- well, a show that is The Bachelor.
So yeah, I moderate the forum at Television Without Pity, and depend on Sars' serrated recaps to keep me savvy. Even though The Bachelor may well embody everything I hate about unscripted television, the TWoP forum for The Bachelor is frequented by a cool group of people. Generally speaking, the posters have perspective, which can be an all too rare quality in online TV discussions. Most of the posters are self-aware enough that they admit when they're over-invested, and revel in it a bit, rather than take their issues Oh So Seriously. While watching TV fans go off the deep end makes me uncomfortable, watching them knowingly dive in gives me nostalgic warm fuzzies.
Last night, Brad Womack, this seasons's bachelor pulled a Kelly Taylor. TWoP posters have been calling this for a while now, at least since Shhh,ItsBackOn made this post. If I were a less lazy writer, I'd go back in the forums and make sure that's who nailed it first, but I'm not, so I trust and thank Reality-OD for the link. This morning, the forum is full of funny, good natured cheers and jeers. Some feel cheated that they hung on through 9 weeks of nonsense only to watch Brad choose neither Jenni nor DeAnna, while others are thrilled that for once, ABC didn't lie when it claimed this would be the most shocking final rose ceremony. Ever.
I just have to recognize my favorite post from the episode thread. The thing is, I can't do it at TWoP, because even though I admire the post, singling it out requires talking about the board on the board. So, this entry goes out to the very Channel Surfer, who inspired this blog entry, with this gem:
Malingerer, I don't even know you, but thank you for making my morning. Bless you and your perspective. I hope Sars shouts out to you in the recap. Speaking of, where's the recap, Sars? I realize I'm betraying my own over-investment, but c'mon, I'm dying here.
I don't watch The Bachelor. I tried, but it just wasn't happening, for a number of reasons. Monday night is so full of TV that my husband and I love, and The Bachelor just isn't my beautiful cake. It has a small bit of potential to be a guilty pleasure, but Mr. Barnes -- well I--I just can't do it to him. I made him watch Fat March over the summer, for heaven's sake. I may kill him softly with my song, but I'm not going to watch my man die a little inside, just so I can watch a show that -- well, a show that is The Bachelor.
So yeah, I moderate the forum at Television Without Pity, and depend on Sars' serrated recaps to keep me savvy. Even though The Bachelor may well embody everything I hate about unscripted television, the TWoP forum for The Bachelor is frequented by a cool group of people. Generally speaking, the posters have perspective, which can be an all too rare quality in online TV discussions. Most of the posters are self-aware enough that they admit when they're over-invested, and revel in it a bit, rather than take their issues Oh So Seriously. While watching TV fans go off the deep end makes me uncomfortable, watching them knowingly dive in gives me nostalgic warm fuzzies.
Last night, Brad Womack, this seasons's bachelor pulled a Kelly Taylor. TWoP posters have been calling this for a while now, at least since Shhh,ItsBackOn made this post. If I were a less lazy writer, I'd go back in the forums and make sure that's who nailed it first, but I'm not, so I trust and thank Reality-OD for the link. This morning, the forum is full of funny, good natured cheers and jeers. Some feel cheated that they hung on through 9 weeks of nonsense only to watch Brad choose neither Jenni nor DeAnna, while others are thrilled that for once, ABC didn't lie when it claimed this would be the most shocking final rose ceremony. Ever.
I just have to recognize my favorite post from the episode thread. The thing is, I can't do it at TWoP, because even though I admire the post, singling it out requires talking about the board on the board. So, this entry goes out to the very Channel Surfer, who inspired this blog entry, with this gem:
malingerer: Yesterday @ 11:10 pm
If I wanted reality, I'd watch reality tv. I want my fake happy ending!
Malingerer, I don't even know you, but thank you for making my morning. Bless you and your perspective. I hope Sars shouts out to you in the recap. Speaking of, where's the recap, Sars? I realize I'm betraying my own over-investment, but c'mon, I'm dying here.
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